Settling His and Her Design Conflicts
It happened again. I was watching HGTV’s House Hunters, one of HGTV’s most popular shows and there it was – a master bedroom with garlands of roses on the windows and a flowery spread on the bed. All I could think was that there was one unhappy man in that house the buyers were touring. Then we went to the next house tour. The house was a sportsman’s dream and I know somewhere there’s a woman who cringes every time she walks in the door.
When I see a house that leans either too strongly toward a masculine feel or a feminine one, all I can think is that the house has either one very understanding spouse or a very frustrated one. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There can be design parity and, if achieved, you won’t just have a happy spouse, you’ll have a happier household.
Recognizing truths
Ladies, as hard as it is to imagine anyone hating a rose, it’s true that men don’t like flowery rooms and they really despise flowery bedrooms. They don’t want to sleep in them, they don’t want flowers hanging on the windows and they don’t like them no matter how hard they try to convince you through their gritted teeth that they do. If you want to make your man happy, get rid of those drippy flowers and put something gender neutral in your bedroom. Men: are you with me?
I don’t often talk about my feng shui side, but would you like to know the reason men don’t like flowers? It’s because they’re competition. That’s right. A flower is the yang, or male, expression of a plant and men don’t like competing with other male energy – especially in the bedroom. And, because opposites attract, that’s why women like flowers. Women are yin, or negative energy, and flowers are positive. Likewise, metal and chrome and dark colors that men prefer are actually feminine in nature and that’s why men are attracted to them. Isn’t that fascinating? I love how feng shui explains design and decorating.
Now, guys, as hard as it is to imagine anyone hating a treasured ball cap, stuffed fish, or a house full of horns hanging on the wall, it’s true that women don’t like it, and most likely have said so. Ladies: are you with me? So, there you have it. Both sides have been heard and the serious grievances have been aired. Now all we have to do is get past the color issue.
Men like white. Women like color. Men are as frightened of red walls as they are of having their toenails painted. However, women like “stuff” and lots of it and men hate knick knacks and paddywacks. A compromise is called for. Go with a medium tone on the walls for the woman, and to give the man what he wants, pare down all the tchotchkes, which to men just look like clutter. A side table with one lamp and one figurine or picture frame is enough. This way you can both have what you want.
The TV
The next issue on the plate is the television. Many women don’t want an electronic behemoth in the living room, and for men, there isn’t a TV that’s too big. If you have two living areas or a guest room put the TV in one room and make the other just for living. If you only have one living room and the TV and fireplace are competing for attention, put the television on the wall opposite the fireplace and then arrange the sofa and chairs perpendicular to the fireplace and TV so that both can be enjoyed.
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Kathryn Weber is the publisher of the Real Home E-Zine, the Internet newsletter with real home advice, tips, and ideas for cooking, gardening, cleaning, and decorating for real families. Subscribers receive this FREE report, The 10 Habits that Help You Keep Your House Cleaner. For more information log on to www.kathryn-weber.com.
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